I saw the clip online of a group of girls beating on another girl. Supposedly the attack was sparked by remarks that the victim posted on her My Space page and the girls planned to post the video of the beating online in retaliation. Ok, sounds like teenage mentality and, sadly, I’m not too shocked anymore by videos of kids beating on each other. But then today I saw an interview with the parents of one of the girls involved and they were actually indignant that websites like My Space would allow such behavior.
I can’t take it anymore. I’m so sick of seeing interviews with parents wagging their fingers at websites that are apparently to blame for the actions of their terrors kids. So, instead of parents being responsible for their one child, website owners are supposed to be responsible for millions of users? That sounds logical.
What I would like to know is what was the exact day that it was declared that parents no longer had to parent? I’m so sick of dealing with the offspring of others who are unleashed on an unsuspecting public only to come home at the end of the day to see the parents pointing fingers at the Internet, video games, movies, music, teachers, drugs, TV, etc. when Mary Sue beats up the neighbor or little Jimmy takes a gun to school and kills 10 people.
I agree that it probably gets more and more difficult to raise kids with the introduction of each new high tech gadget. But parents still have that little bit of magic that works without batteries. All they have to do is 1) See their kids on a regular basis and 2) Say NO! I know, I know, it’s hard to say ”no” when your kid whines and pouts. Too bad! That’s your job as a parent! You’re not there to be best friends; you’re there to create and mold responsible members of society. And you can’t do that when you buy your kids gadgets instead of spending time getting involved in their lives, monitoring their actions, and modeling good behavior.
Although I love my parents, they were not always my favorite people when I was growing up. They said “no” to me quite often, they didn’t put up with tantrums, and they showed me the importance of realizing you owe consideration to the people around you. I never said that my mom was my best friend because she wasn’t; she’s my mother. And being a mother is a much harder job than being a best friend. I think it’s also important to note that my parents never spanked me. They simply demanded that I treat them with respect by creating boundaries, being consistent, and giving me the Death Stare when necessary. If I were a teen today I would not have a cell phone, a computer, or cable TV. I would be forced to deal with my terrible life of using the computer at school, talking on the phone only while I’m at home, and flipping between 4 channels instead of 400. Wow, what a terrible life that would be.
My last complaint about parents today will make me wildly unpopular but I think it needs to be said. Parents do not spend enough time with their kids because they have bought into the notion that both parents HAVE to work. I don’t buy that for a second. What we’re doing as a society is choosing objects over people and relationships and it’s the children who suffer the most. For the life of me I do not understand why people feel the need to have children only to turn them over to strangers for the majority of their waking hours. What is the purpose of that? I have heard plenty of women at work say they could never stay home with their kids instead of working. Ok, I can certainly understand that feeling, but why have kids then? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t see it as only the mother’s duty to stay with the kids. I just think that no one should have children unless one parent is interested in spending the bulk of his/her time raising them. And if you can find no way to live on one salary (or aren’t interested in working opposite hours of your spouse) then I would suggest that you can’t really afford to have children. (And why do employers bend over backwards to help people have children? I couldn’t get a reasonable treatment covered by health insurance but they cover infertility treatments. Infertility in itself is not a disease or health risk so why should insurance cover that when they don’t cover some treatments for actual health problems? Mothers in my state get to collect short term disability pay for their maternity leave. They aren’t disabled - they just CHOSE to give birth. Unless they experienced some serious complications from the birth there is no reason why they should receive disability pay for 6 weeks.)
Well, I’m sure I’ve angered some, if not all, of the very few people who read this blog so I should probably put my soapbox back in the closet for a while. But it is something that really concerns me. I see kids who are lost and crying out to feel more important to their parents than money or possessions.